My First Blogging

Welcome. On the advice of friends, and against my better judgment, I have started a blog. I thought my first blog post would be about how bad I hate the word “blog.” Even now it’s giving me a headache, having typed it three times. How lazy are we that we can’t even say “web log?”
But instead, I thought I would post the following fictional conversation that occurred entirely in my head last night while my wife watched TV:

“Hey honey, can you get me a Coke?”
“Really? You were just in the kitchen.”
“Oh come on. I’m sitting down now.”
“You were right by the refrigerator.”
“Honey, you know I don’t have any legs.”
“You were just up, walking around.”
“I don’t have any legs.”
“You got your iPhone off the counter. Right by the fridge.”
“Honey…I don’t have any legs.”
“YOU WERE ON DANCING WITH THE F*$KING STARS!”
“I DONT HAVE ANY LEGS!!”
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!”
*stompstompstomp…stompstompstomp*
“Here’s your Coke. I’m leaving you.”
“YOU’RE LEAVING ME BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY LEGS!!!”
“Jesus.”
*Door slams*
Aaaaand scene.

You’ve been blogged. Or whatever.

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